July 25 2021

I Really F’ed Up

Deep below the surface of the earth on the French-Swiss border, Dr. Hellström looked on in disgust as his stupid assistant Yannick stood next to the Large Hadron Collider and made mouth love to a thick oily bratwurst that he kept dipping into an open jar of mayonnaise. Yannick chewed…

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July 12 2021

Fantastic Congrats

Jelly Bean climbed the steps to the door of the trailer behind the elephant pen. One of the old bulls trumpeted as Jelly Bean tapped lightly on the door. “Come on in, Jelly Bean,” Wiggles said from behind his desk. He was chewing the stub of a comically oversized exploded…

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June 28 2021

Holy Shit Blue

“Hey, bro!” NotJosh #807 turned around to see who had just tapped his shoulder in the long line of acolytes in blue bathrobes and yellow flip flops, lining up to bestow birthday offerings onto His Holy Joshness, The One True Josh. “NotJosh #809! Yooooo! How you been, bro?” “Been good,…

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June 14 2021

Graduated Somehow

Molly walked down the hallway, her body growing heavy with dread as she braced herself for what she would find behind her dorm room door. Over the past two semesters living with Nicole, Molly’s senses of detection had become animalian.

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