THE LAB

Holy Shit Birthday Blue

  • Category: Birthday
  • Creation Date: Jun 25, 2020

The Origin Story

“Hey, bro!”

NotJosh #807 turned around to see who had just tapped his shoulder in the long line of acolytes in blue bathrobes and yellow flip flops, lining up to bestow birthday offerings onto His Holy Joshness, The One True Josh.

“NotJosh #809! Yooooo! How you been, bro?”

“Been good, bro. Praise be unto Josh.”

“Glory to Josh.”

NotJosh #809 punched NotJosh #807’s bathrobed shoulder. “Yoooo, how about those Stacies, man?”

“Yeah, those chicks were super hot.”

“You think it’s weird we haven’t seen a Stacy in like a month, bro?”

NotJosh #807 shifted uncomfortably in his flip flops. “I don’t know, bro.”

“Yeah yeah. How about those all you can eat crab leg nights? What happened to those, bro?”

“Trust in the vision of His Holy Joshness.”

NotJosh #809 leaned in close to whisper. “Yeah but how about those drug fueled orgies with the Stacies, bro? They were pretty killer, huh? What happened to THEM, bro?!”

“The One True Josh said that all you can eat crab legs and drug-fueled orgies will be restored in the Age of Awesomesauce and we just have to keep up our Joshly devotions.”

They were getting close to the front of the line. “What did you get Josh for his birthday? I got him this pillowcase full of hacky sacks, the orbs that are holiest and most pleasing to Josh.”

“I got him this card,” NotJosh #807 said, holding up the Holy Shit – It’s Your Birthday card in blue. Shortly thereafter, NotJosh #1 ushered him into the Holy Mancave of Josh to present his offering. NotJosh #1 reemerged triumphant moments later, card raised high.

“This birthday card hath pleased His Holy Joshness! Phase one in the Age of Awesomesauce begins today! Everyone, dip thine nards in sanctified Jaegerbombs and prepare for ritual castration!”

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Holy Shit Birthday Blue

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