Why should you give your friend an InYourFace Greeting card? Consider this…
And then all of a sudden, piercing light stings your friend’s retinas. They become immediately confused.
“Where am I? Why is my body tangled in multiple layers of cloth?”
Moments later, as fear is replaced by rational, cognitive thought, they realize; “Alas! I have just regained consciousness after 5 ½ hours of slumber, and its my GODDAMNED BIRTHDAY!”
So what’s the first thing they do on their goddamned birthday? They eagerly check their phone for text messages that likely contain poorly written, insincere birthday wishes from people they may or may not even care about.
And what do you know, they have several text messages. Great, let’s read through them.
- “Happy B-day. let’s celebrate this weekend im available are you having a party?”
- “happy birthday woohoo! may your day sparkle with joy”
- “im trapped in my refrigerator, call for help please hurry”
And the like.
These crappy little messages continue to trickle in throughout the day, each one a solemn reminder of just how impersonal our technology ridden society has become…
AND HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN
Somewhere around 6:13 pm, your friend’s phone buzzes once again. Reluctantly, they pull their phone out of their pocket and stare blankly at the notification on the screen. And what do you know, it’s you:
“Happy Birthday, dearest friend. A planet without you is a planet not worth living on.”
The perfect message.
Your friend cracks a smile. But their joy quickly vanishes, only to be replaced by uncontrollable weeping.
Your text was the final straw. Believing that nobody truly cared about their birthday, your friend falls into a deep depression, and eventually, is lobotomized.
Somewhere around 6:13 pm, your friend’s doorbell rings. A single bloodshot eyeball peers through the peephole in their door. And what do you know, it’s you. And you’re holding something.
The door swings open revealing your friend, hunched over and disheveled.
“Happy Birthday, I have something for you!” you exclaim, as you hand them a fabulously witty and hilarious In Your Face birthday card.
You and your friend lock arms and skip off into the sunset. And just like that, you made your friend’s birthday something truly special, just by presenting them with a physical token of your friendship.